Do Not Feed The Monkeys

Homo sapiens

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Pongo lostintranslansis

They may communicate in a strange manner, but these apes can be very loving and passionate.

Callimico oviparus

The only primates capable of laying eggs.

Papio stellaris

Their natural habitats include outer space, dreams and rainy cities.

Galago cholesterolus

Generous by nature, they don't let any member of their group go hungry.

Microcebus nudensis

They look past appearances: these monkeys look for inner beauty.

Petterus supermegafan

They are crazy about spotlights, flashes and teen-ape actresses.

Aotus chauffeurii

They hate moving around the jungle on foot.

Prebytis freedonius

They organize themselves around charismatic and slightly genocidal alpha males.

Mandrillus lupus

They transform themselves, howl and change their fur with great ease.

Cebus smilenis

These monkey put the happiness of their offspring before anything else.

Colobus corsarii

They love sports and cleanliness. And, above all, they hate confined spaces.

Lepilemur poopoo

The most creative and talented, although with a certain tendency towards scatology.

Allocebus darwiniana

Monkeys with a passion for natural selection and the struggle between the species.

Lemur wylonii major

Apes with unimpeachable morality. ABSOLUTELY unimpeachable.

Lemur wylonii medus

Good, caring, empathetic... These primates are morally acceptable.

Lemur wylonii vulgaris

Never trust them: they are the most immoral of all monkeys.

Gorilla clubensis minor

Obedient and helpful primates.

Gorilla clubensis medus

Very obedient and very helpful primates.

Gorilla clubensis major

The most obedient and helpful monkeys: ALWAYS at the service of their keeper.

Aotus televisibus

They go crazy over the most extreme emotions on the boob tube.

Propithecus molli

Half ape, half mole: these primates cannot keep their mouths shut.

Hylobates silensis

The most faithful, loyal and discreet primates.

Hapalemur dolarii

They like money almost as much as piggybanks do.

Colobus express

Now you see 'em, now you don't: these are the fastest monkeys in the jungle.

Tarsius amazonius

Big fans of maxing out their credit cards without leaving the tree.

Ateles pencilianus

Methodical and obsessive: they don't stop until their pencil is worn down to a stub.

Mandrillus barfii

Their appetite knows no limits. It's a good idea to keep a mop near them.

Mandrillus collector minor

Amateur collectors. They always hold on to something as a souvenir.

Mandrillus collector medus

Experienced collectors. They have a hard time letting go of anything.

Mandrillus collector major

Compulsive collectors. They hold on to everything, absolutely EVERYTHING.