Unbeatable Story Mode

OHHH I GET IT. THEY ALL HAVE MUSIC NAMES

when you explain an idea, the idea fundamentally changes.

SETUP

breakout success

IF THE NEEDLE WON'T MOVE...

gladitorial rules

PUNCHLINE

a cruel answer

A young girl plays a song

For all the days we've had, and all the days we will

SOUND CHECK

everything is normal

THIS IS KIND OF JUST A GAME ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A BABYSITTER

local child utterly DESTROYED by insane ability to count up one by one

I KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE

okay at some point patience has to stop being a virtue

IT'S ALL SHE TAUGHT ME

nostalgia. bitters. demerara.

FREE AS IN WHATEVER THIS IS

no point to the game. you just walk around, jumping

Be nice.

Be NICE.

MAYBE ACTUALLY QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

it's funny, because usually people dream of quitting bartending to do music, but in this case, the opposite is true

A GAME WHERE MUSIC IS ILLEGAL AND YOU FOLLOW THE LAW

Rhythm is life. It's inherent to being human. That's why playing this minigame feels like eating razors

SHE GETS DISTRACTED EASILY, DOESN'T SHE?

honestly, if i'm playing a video game, and there's a minigame in the video game, i WILL spend all my time just doing that

THE STUFF HAVER

look. i have to ship these achievement names and descriptions right now. YOU try coming up with these

WAIT. IS THE ARCADE MODE NON-CANON

this game claims that music is illegal, yet it encourages the playing of music. that's just bad design

LET'S GO FOR SIX

you're supposed to get this for playing five songs but i guess you could also just play the same song five times

I am so proud of you!

though seeing it written back like that it kind of sounds like i'm being sarcastic. i'm not! good job!

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT PERFECT GREAT PERFECT

combo unbreaker

ARCADE FLAWLESS

people like to say that you can fail a million times but you only have to succeed once. i like succeeding more than once, myself

DID YOU KNOW EVERY STAR YOU SEE IN THE NIGHT SKY IS BRIGHTER THAN OUR SUN

You've hit a 5.0 STAR rating. That was the first thing that came up when I searched "cool facts about stars"

I HONESTLY DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY ABOUT STARS

You've hit a 10.0 STAR rating. I'm done talking about stars now

CRITICAL BASS THEORY

YOU GET THIS FOR BEATING TEN SONGS WITH CRIT MODE ON. I'M SORRY FOR THE NAME OF THIS ACHIEVEMENT AND I'M SORRY FOR YELLING.

I'm sorry. I lied to you. UNBEATABLE is not the only rhythm game

there are actually many rhythm games

:(

this is for breaking a lot of 100+ combo chains. don't feel too bad. it'll happen to everyone who plays the game enough

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

pulling pranks on the spirit of the law by following the letter of the law

OKAY FINE. SURE. HERE.

it's like the 0451 of codes you type in a video game

AM...AM I BEING HUSTLED

if you keep abusing no fail mode i WILL take it away from you

ONE MORE BEGINNING

lost family found

ONE VERY FULL COMBO

technically if it was one big full combo that'd mean full comboing all the songs with no breaks. we're not making you do that

ALL CAPS OR NO CAPS

until next time.

STAR...t

You've hit a 1.0 STAR rating. Keep going! Maybe I should look up some cool facts about stars to help me write these achievements

IT'S RJ'S FAULT BARTENDING IS EVEN IN THE GAME

"'you look a little bar tense' - andrew tsai" - rj lake

[white label]

remarked

I BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHAT MY FIRST NAME FOR THIS ACHIEVEMENT WAS

okay fine. you got it first try. it WAS "posting through it."

WE CAN PRETEND THAT JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN

sewer? i hardly kn

Yes, there's release timing.

Sorry.

AND I'M NOT EVEN AWAKE

past the morning every day

please change your offset

either something is very wrong or you are REALLY good at playing the game badly on purpose

ROPE BURN

This is probably the scariest thing that happens in the game

STALLING.

I thought I'd think she'd be taller.

DEAD BALL

Survived a ghost encounter. I'm so, so sorry if you already did this in the demo.